Cosmic Brownies are the embodiment of good and evil; they taste good and the mountains of calories and preservatives they pack are a bit on the evil side; and they are probably the heftiest and densest snack options available. If you’ve ever picked up a box, you know what I’m talking about.
A long time ago when we, as a family, took our first road trip, my wife bought a box to keep the kids satisfied on the long stretch between San Antonio and El Paso. By the time we made it home, after two weeks on the road, the box still hadn’t been opened. Why, you may ask? Because of their self-defense properties. A box of Cosmic Brownies can, in fact, subdue any would-be assailant. Pop them upside the head and they submit every time. It also became one of our family’s inside jokes. Death by Cosmic Brownies.
When thinking about any subject, I sometimes come up with a coherent thought. And, sometimes, I write it down. I have notebooks, sticky notes, and Word documents filled with these treasures—heavy sarcasm—but some of them are kind of insightful if you read them a certain way. I, of course, think my cosmic visions are of insurmountable importance. Some of these thoughts actually make it into something I’m writing but most remain trapped on the medium in which they were recorded. Some of these go back to the 1980s. The older ones are imprisoned in boxes stacked in my office’s closet. The ones stored on stickies, or my hard drive, are readily available to me and thus will be fostered upon you.
Needing a graphic to go with this semi-regular column, I did a web search and found out that the Little Debbie treat has a registered trademark, upon which I do not want to infringe. Thankfully, and strangely, there is a subculture of people who actually try to recreate the brownie recipe and share their experimentations online, complete with pictures. Some of them look homemade and probably taste better than the object of their desire. Others seem to be exact replicas. I don’t understand the need to do this. These are not delicacies from the Far East or the back alleys of Paris. They are readily available at your local grocery store. I know times are tough right now, but really? These snacks are cheap, people. Find a better use of your time.
Needless to say, I lifted the graphic from someone’s recipe page. If you recognize the picture and don’t want me using it, let me know and I’ll go pilfer someone else’s.